The 13th Warrior (1999)

Director: John McTiernan

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Dennis Storhoi, Vladimir Kulich, Omar Sharif

Primary genre: Historical fiction

Secondary genre: Action

John McTiernan’s adaptation of Michael Crichton’s novel “Eaters of the Dead” renamed after Crichton himself took over from the veteran action director as “The 13th Warrior”, remains a bizarre historical flick. No matter how big the budget was (around $160 million dollars!), there is hardly anything on the screen that justifies the cost of this production.

At best, “The 13th Warrior” is a borderline alive action flick with some interesting elements that are never fleshed out to offer a unique cinematic experience. The marriage of East (via our protagonist) and the West (the Vikings) is underwhelming boggled down by unnecessary narration and copious amount of exposition and translation between two dimensional characters instead of allowing the events naturally to evolve. This 10th century tale of courage and heroism is stuffed with 13 characters who besides 3 or 4, have absolutely no personality whatsoever, dying faster than you could say Bandera’s on-stage name. Besides Vladimir Kulich’s physically imposing and polyglot Viking leader and Dennis Storhoi’s chatterbox, the rest can only be dinstinguished by a Scottish accent (Tony Curran), and stoicism (Daniel Southern). Their limited interactions do not give any information about themselves or the world they live in. Attempts to enrich the material with subplots have virtually no resolution (e.g., the king’s jealous son, Diane Venora’s Queen, Banderas’ romance) while the much anticipated climax with the root of the evil is a blink-and-you-will-miss-it moment utterly devoid of finesse and showmanship.

McTiernan seems uncertain as well (or should we say Crichton) at what to do. Neither though take any chances to display a visually stimulating production design let alone keeping track on a hard R-rating. This hybrid of historical action and horror deserved better; there are several decapitations and violent moments but they feel like afterthoughts of an extensive trimming process in the editing room. Thus, when the clashes finally happen, they are albeit very brief. For a film boasting an assemble of 13 badass Viking warriors, it is awfully disappointing. McTiernan might be employing dynamic camerawork to keep things at a fast pace, yet his second half can’t match the atmosphere of the first. The reveal comes all too soon and what could have been a more Lovecraftian approach to historical aspects becomes a banal fight between two groups without a truly memorable moment and this is from the same guy who made the South American jungle n “Predator” (1987) a character itself.

Not all hope is lost though as there are things to salvage from this expensive adaptation: Jerry Goldsmith’s score (a last minute replacement of the already complete and rejected work of Graeme Revell) is deliciously grandiose (and you could hear “The Mummy” (1999) inside there) displaying an audio-wise impressive canvas of symphonic sounds, the cinematography is crisp, the violence makes things more raw and the use of real sets and the rainy locations of British Columbia offer an authenticity which is sorely lacking from modern day blockbusters. The first skirmish is perhaps the most memorable and brutally chaotic moment with McTiernan managing to maintain some level of suspense while a trip towards an abandoned forest cottage gives a few chills that later on remain unmatched.

“The 13th Warrior” is not the disaster that many predicted with only a few truly knowing what the original film looked like. After all, we know how test audiences can get it very wrong (e.g., “Blade Runner” (1982), “Event Horizon” (1997)). If this could have been allowed to re-edited, there is definitely the possibility of a better movie emerging. Unfortunately, time has forgotten this costly historical action flick and as it stands now, it will do for a rainy Sunday night in.

Uneven and unfocused book adaptation

+Goldsmith’s uplifting score

+British Columbia locations

+Dynamic direction

+Appropriately violent

-but not enough

-Not horrific enough

-Two films merged into one

-Skirmishes are poor

-Things come and go