Top 10 Worst Horror Remakes
The horror remake trend was quite big in the first decade of the new millenium that saw pretty much all the greats of the genre being modernized for savvy audiences. What Hollywood thought with modernization though was the inclusion of a toned down rating, emphasis on predictable and loud jump scares, minimal creature designs and even more unconvincing CGI effects that replaced atmosphere and adequate performances. There are quite a few terrible horror remakes so it is actual quite hard to make a list with only ten of them, but if something made it here, means it is miles ahead in terms of awfulness. Film Mining 101 presents the worst horror remakes of all time.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤😤😤😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡
10. The Fog (2005)
Director: Rupert Wainwright
Starring: Tom Welling, Selma Blair, Maggie Grace
Genre: Supernatural horror
When a new version of John Carpenter’s “The Fog” was announced, people were ecstatic. It has been 25 years since the original cult classic now has been released which holds up remarkably well by today’s standards. With its emphasis on dread and otherworldly premises in the rather inspiring setting of an isolated sea town, any technical update could render this to a truly terrifying ghost tale. Despite the great poster, the new “Fog” is an absolute mess. Relying heavily on mediocre CGI, tones of exposition, painful performances and the atmospheric charisma of a Teletubby, this remake offers nothing more than an exercise to vanity.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡
9. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Director: Samuel Bayer
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara, Katie Cassidy
Genre: Slasher
Another pointless remake that disrespects greatly the source material unable to stand on its own two feet. While the casting of Early Haley is inspired, his attempted backstory towards a more humanizing villain is a tragic mistake, considering that a child killer that can get you in your dreams is a terrifying concept. With unmemorable dream sequences, a cast of unlikeable characters and a poorly redesigned Freddy who does not look scary, this remake never stood a chance.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡😡😡😡
8. Fright Night (2011)
Director: Graig Gillespie
Starring: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Genre: Teen horror
While not necessarily the worst of the bunch, the entire film is misconceived. Despite Farrell giving it all as slick vampire Jerry, he does not hold a candle against Chris Sarandon’s delicious performance and lacks real conviction. Yet the main offender here is Anton Yelchin’s Charley who is not even remotely relatable plagued with questionable actions and even more questionable dialogue. The showdown between Jerry and Charley is ultimately a letdown too demonstrating again how much flair and panache films had back in the 80s with half the budget and star power.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆😆😆😆😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡
7. The Wicker Man (2006)
Director: Neil LaBute
Starring: Nicholas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Frances Conroy
Genre: Horror
In a film that is so bad, that since its screening has became legendary (“Not the bees! AAAAAAAAA!!!!”), you probably need to see a making of to witness the creation of one of the most hilarious unintentionally comedies ever produced. “The Wicker Man” has Nicholas Cage going overdrive in a variety of circumstances with everything crank up to 11 - acting, delivery, music. LaBute mistakenly aims for surreal horror only to be let down by an army of bizarre stylistic choices that will guarantee your belly exploding with laughter.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆😆😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡
6. The Haunting (1999)
Director: Jan de Bont
Starring: Liam Neeson, Lily Taylor, Catherine Zeta Jones
Genre: Supernatural horror
Coming hot after the entertaining misfire that was “Speed 2” (1997), Jan De Bont sought to remake Robert Wise’s “The Haunting of Hill House” (which itself was based on the novel of the same name by Shirley Jackson). With a whooping budget of 80 million dollars(!) and a fantastic cast, de Bont is able to produce a total borefest. “The Haunting” lacks atmosphere, jump scares, emotional depth, tension; all these key horror ingredients are replaced by excessive CGI, lame dialogue, an incoherent script and an impressive (but vain) production design.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨
No atmosphere:
😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺
CGI dominance:
🥴
No thrills:
😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡
5. The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Director: Alejandre Aja
Starring: Aaron Stanford, Kathleen Quinlan, Vinessa Shaw
Genre: Horror
Another remake of Wes Craven’s filmography (after “A Nightmare on Elm street”), “The Hills Have Eyes” is an excuse to several moments of excessive sexual and physical violence that really push the limits of their depiction in a mainstream film. While there is definitely some craftmanship involved in the make up effects, the film quickly devolves into the now extinct revenge porn of that era with so much violence that sitting it through you begging to wonder whether there is a meaning in this? Despite the any controversy of the original, Craven always found meaningful ways to inject some sort of commentary. Here Aja and his buddy Levasseur have lost themselves into a sea of blood and gore.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆😆😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤😤😤
Poor designs:
👺
CGI dominance:
🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡😡😡😡
4. Friday the 13th (2009)
Director: Marcus Nispel
Starring: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo
Genre: Slasher
Marcus Nispel’s take on the much beloved “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003) was not as bad as purists anticipated. Yet it unfortunately opened Pandora’s box with Hollywood remaking any once famous horror icons of the 70s/80s. His take on Jason is meaner, faster and smarter but the inclusion of weak acting, unlikeable characters and any actual scares made this remake a feeble attempt to reach the heights of his previous remake. With a glaringly teleporting Jason, it is hard to take the proceedings any seriously, particularly when you are looking forward for the teens to be removed from the screen.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤😤😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡😡
3. Poltergeist (2015)
Director: Gil Kenan
Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris
Genre: Supernatural horror
With Hollywood pretty much at this point (2015) having remade all known IPs, it was time to start picking up those PG-13 friendly horror flicks. The original “Poltergeist” has its fair share of fans and gloomy atmosphere but nothing will prepare you for the empty void that is this remake. There is virtually nothing interesting happening with the majority of the film being directed telegraphically, missing creative set pieces and ghost designs that begs the question why even bother calling it “Poltergeist”. The always reliable Sam Rockwell does his best but even he cannot generate any actual momentum to a film that has the scare factor of an eggplant.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡😡😡
2. Child’s Play (2019)
Director: Lars Klevberg
Starring: Audrey Plaza, Gabriel Bateman, Brian Tyree Henry
Genre: Slasher
And now we are with the heavyweight offenders. The filmmakers of the much maligned “Child’s Play” remake decided in their infinite wisdom to change Chucky’s backstory: instead of the soul of a nasty serial killer causing the mayhem…it is a malfunction of the doll’s chip by a disgruntled employee that does the damage. This alone takes away the tension that the original so sinisterly displayed in great fashion. With the focus shifting from the mother to a rather unlikeable kid and his newly founded friends renders the whole experience a miserable one that stretches believability and auto inserting huge plot holes (if a chipped chucky can control various vehicles, surely the manufacturer would have known about this and become billionaires). Even the doll is not adequately creepy (evil intension is displayed by red eyes -_-) while a miscast Audrey Plaza drags the whole thing down even more.
Unintentionally hilarious:
😆
Unconvincing:
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
No atmosphere:
😑😑😑😑😑
Jump scare reliance:
😤
Poor designs:
👺👺👺👺👺
CGI dominance:
🥴
No thrills:
😶😶😶😶😶
Unlikeable characters:
😡😡😡😡😡
1. Black Christmas (2019)
Director: Sophia Takal
Starring: Imogen Poots, Aleysen Shannon, Lily Donoghue
Genre: Slasher
Officially the worst remake of all time, “Black Christmas” based on the film of the same name in 1974 (and according to many the first slasher film in history), this film is devoid of any merit whatsoever. Doubling down with any conceivable identify politics issue you can think off - toxic masculinity, racism, discrimination, sexual harassment, diversity, equality, white people, men - at a college campus - yes you heard that right, college campuses on 2019 are the most horrific places on earth, “Black Christmas” is so “woke” that it forgets to do one thing - being an actual movie. An accurate representation of a left wing individual’s Twitter feed, the film is terrible even on the technical department with below average kills, rated violence, horribly smug and entitled characters and a misuse of the great Imogen Poots who deserves so much better than this cinematic atrocity.